Myrtle Claus
"I think you're just having pure withdrawal symptoms," a friend tells me. She just asked me with genuine interest how I am. Instead of giving the socially desirable answer "good," I told her I'm feeling a bit down, a bit tired and lifeless. With those mood swings, trouble concentrating and headaches. Such a feeling of indefinable general malaise actually. Not for me, because I'm normally up for anything, see the bright side of everything and am quite even in mood.
'Withdrawal symptoms? I? Then of what? I don't smoke, I don't drink and I don't snort. And my coffee addiction only bothers me a bit if I don't have two cups before 9:XNUMX in the morning coffee work inside.'
'You just miss the sun. I think you're a little weather sensitive. Since when do you feel this way? A week? That's about since the weather is changing. Really, I'm right. Think about it!'
Weather sensitive?
Weather sensitive? I don't! A Dutch girl who grew up in the rain would suffer from the beautiful Italian autumn weather. What nonsense! Dark gray skies and thick clouds in all shapes and sizes don't make me warm or cold. Let alone a downpour passing by. The only time anyone used my behavior to predict the weather was when my sister and I rocked the house as a small child. Our dear great-aunt predicted a storm. And was right. But I don't think it's ever gotten more weather sensitive than that.
Although… If I'm very honest, a day of Italian rain has more effect on my mood than a whole week of rain in the Netherlands could ever achieve. Of rain is Italy a lot more uncomfortable. The otherwise colorful world here is grayer than the Netherlands in bad weather. Life seems to stand still. Everyone quickly runs from one dry place to another under an umbrella. If you already see someone on the street. Not that everyone in the Netherlands runs outside for fun at the first rain shower. But life goes on, rain or shine.
Or would it be different? Does it not have to do with the atmosphere, but with something that is missing? Something I've gotten more and more used to since living here? And that like a drug makes you want more and more of it? Has my body become so accustomed to the happiness hormone serotonin and that happiness chemical dopamine that a slight drop in its production immediately leads to what I feel like now?
It could of course. If so, my girlfriend is right. My body is in great need of sunlight. And then there is no other option: move to a country where it appears in the sky even more often than here! But not right now. I have no breath.
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