Column: graduating in Italy

After living in Italy for more than 2 years, I have seen it several times on the street: the typical Italian graduation ritual. Just like in the Netherlands, this starts with defending your thesis in front of professors, family and friends, but does not end with shaking hands and receiving your diploma. In Italy, only then does the real graduation ritual begin.

A few weeks ago I got to experience it up close. A good friend of mine graduated. Now neither of us are really the type to appreciate this Italian ritual, so we've limited ourselves to making the papyrus to celebrate the moment of graduation in a funny way.

Papyrus

In the weeks leading up to the graduation ceremony, all the friends gather to celebrate the papyrus (the parchment). This is a document, usually printed on A5 paper, on which a caricature of the graduate is drawn. Although the name suggests otherwise, it has the name papyrus because it is a very extensive document and not because it was originally written on parchment.

On paper, all the important, and especially idiotic, moments in your life are captured. The more shameless the better, so rest assured the friends are really hanging out all the dirty laundry. The entire text is written in rhyme and a tiny font is used. And yes, of course there is a reason…

Pampers and Speedo

On graduation day, after the boring official part where the graduate is awarded the diploma and some obligatory photos are taken, the graduate is taken into town. The graduate is then first asked to change outfits. Here too, the friends did their best and came up with the most embarrassing ensemble.

In cases where the friends have been lenient, it could simply be the wrong clothing combination (think pink sneakers, flower leggings and a Hello Kitty shirt) but don't be alarmed if you see someone walking around in Pampers or a yellow Speedo. This is also one of the possibilities.

Then the graduate must from a distance papyrus read aloud. And then the 'small print' comes into play. Each time the victim slips up, he or she must have a glass of beer or another alcoholic drink and may start over.

And so it goes from bad to worse until the graduate can no longer speak his mind at all. Also, it is not uncommon to pelt the graduate with eggs or flour while he papyrus reads out. You are at the mercy of your friends.

Dottore, dottore, dottore del buso del cul

When the graduate has finally managed to read the story aloud without errors, the obligatory tour through the city follows, in which the friends cheerfully sing some inappropriate slogans. 'Dottore, dottore, dottore del buso del cul, vaffancul vaffancul.'

Not to go into details and to stay neat: something with your graduation title, opening of your behind and some curse words. All this to remind the graduate that he or she may have graduated, but above all must not forget to keep both feet on the ground.

Give me a bunch of flowers

To be honest, I personally attach great importance to Italian culture, but this is a ritual that I think should be abolished immediately. Secretly I am very happy that I 'just' graduated in the Netherlands, with a boring ending of shaking hands, a bunch of flowers and some photos.