Greetings from the Laars part 6: Maarten and Dominique in Grizzana Morandi

In 2019, Dominique and Maarten left for the Apennines to make their 'I'm leaving' dream come true. But what do you do when all the clichés come true? How do you proceed if a pandemic throws a spanner in the works and if you also notice that a B&B might not be your thing at all?

Watch the season 21 episode of I'm Departing here.

The turnaround

In 2018 we both reached a bit of a dead end. Maarten really needed something different after 25 years in healthcare and Dominique wanted to give her coaching a new form. Our kids had moved out and we knew it was now or never.

The decision was actually made quite quickly. We would leave for Italy: a different life, starting all over again, enjoying the culture, the weather, the wine and the delicious food, less stress and la dolce vita. The choice to start a B&B was so obvious that we never really thought about it.

Sometimes you just have to jump in at the deep end

It was certain that it would be Italy. Maarten spent his whole childhood on holiday and through him Dominique also fell in love with the country. We also knew we didn't want to go further south than Umbria.

We selected 12 houses on the major Italian housing sites and took a 3-week vacation to view them. Most of the properties were in Tuscany and Umbria. That's kind of the dream, isn't it? We were not happy about it.

The odd one out was a house in the Apennines just in Emilia-Romagna. The house was nothing, but the atmosphere, the people, the food, nature, the whole picture was right. This was where we felt at home, where we wanted to live.

We fell in love with the old water mill that the estate agent had to show us. After six months of planning and negotiating, the sale fell through. So Dominique came up with a very exciting proposal: we sell everything in Amsterdam and move to a rented house in the area.

So we left 'on spec' to the Apennini Tosco-Emiliano, between Bologna and Florence along the old autostrada, which they call the Panoramica. The region is quite unknown as everyone is new these days Highway of the Sun takes. It has so many tunnels that hardly anyone sees how beautiful and fun it is here.

The accessibility was also a big plus. After all, we wanted to start a B&B.

And go!

Renting first was a good decision, highly recommended. We had plenty of time to register with the municipality, arrange insurance and open a bank account. Things that in Italy often have more feet in the earth than you expect.

Contact with brokers and private sellers was also much easier. We could also get to know the environment and the people better, acclimatize a bit. Perhaps that was the most important thing, the normalization.

Everything was fun, exciting and new. It was good to bleach those rose-colored glasses a bit. Maarten regularly worked in the Netherlands for a week. We needed the income, but it was hard not being in Italy together. We found our ideal house within 3 months and it was ours at the beginning of May.

Dolce vita really exists, even if everything goes differently

We had thought that we could open with 2019 rooms in mid-July 2. We had calculated a bit outside the Italian regulations there. We now know exactly when you need a geometra, an architect and a friendly mayor.

As it should be, we actually had too little money, too little experience and too many unforeseen. Who would have thought that the discharge of shower water could be a problem? As a result, everything else was delayed, of course.

But it was summer il belpaese. Friends and family came to stay and help with odd jobs. There were village festivals, markets, balmy evenings at the long table in the garden and of course the delicious sangiovese from the winery around the corner.

Delaying the opening until March of the following year didn't feel like a punishment. 2 days before the big party the mayor called: 'emergency', state of emergency, 'I'm sorry'. sorry,'unfortunately', unfortunately, but he couldn't come to cut the ribbon.

Of course we had heard of the epidemic around Bergamo, but it still seemed very far away. 3 days later the first lockdown started. We were in the middle of nature and there was still plenty to do. It could be sadder. The closure of all hardware stores and suppliers was the most difficult.

It was saddest for our Dutch volunteer, Gert Jan. He had arrived a week early and would help us 5 days a week. He had all kinds of outings, visits to friends and courses planned, but was locked up with us. After 4 weeks he chose eggs for his money and went back to the Netherlands. Maarten could no longer go to the Netherlands to work. That was quite a loss financially.

In Italy, meanwhile, the disaster only got worse. In most places in healthcare, 70 percent of the staff were sick at home. The infections only increased, in hospitals and in nursing and care homes, the nursing home.

Maarten felt he should do what he could to help. After all, this was our new homeland. So he worked in a nursing home for 2 months, until the biggest misery was a bit over.

Enjoying il belpaese became survival

In the end, the mayor did not cut the ribbon until July 6. In the meantime, all bookings had been canceled and due to all travel restrictions and uncertainty, we had a total of 6 Dutch guests that first summer.

The 'high season' has been saved a bit by Italian hikers. We were located near a popular hiking trail, the Via degli Deic.

Every day we picked up pilgrims and brought them back to the starting point the next day. A maximum of 2 people were allowed in the car at a time, so we drove up and down 4 or 5 times. In addition, they all only stayed one night.

Of course we never counted on that: every day: washing, ironing, disinfecting, planning (people were not allowed in the same room), cleaning, making up and on again. Because we couldn't afford anything financially, the two of us did it all.

Then at the end of August things were closed again. The rest of the year and the first months of 2022 were fodder for depression. Fortunately, neither of us was cut out for that. Although the pre-season was still disappointing, we did have a good summer the second year.

However, after that we decided not to go any further.

I leave or we stay?

It was scary to look at each other and say out loud that we are not B&B people. We liked the guests, but the (financial) obligations broke us. It's great fun to cook for guests and eat with them, but it becomes less fun when you have to do the dishes at 23 p.m. because you have to get up at 6 a.m. tomorrow.

Our idea was that we would have time to tell our guests about this unknown region and show them the most beautiful places. In practice we were cleaning, ironing, washing, preparing and we hardly got anywhere else. We wanted to organize retreats and coaching weeks. That never happened because we were too busy keeping things running.

We had also never thought about what it is like to always have guests in your own home, to live in your work. We found that very hard. So we have put the B&B up for sale and we have found a fantastic successor, who is now further expanding our dream.

We are very happy here in Italy. We have great friends, the food is delicious and the life, the culture suits us. We don't want to go back to the Netherlands.

Italians are not such planners

We were really very lucky. A valley further on we found a beautiful tower house from the 15th century. It's in a small one village, a neighborhood community.

We have neighbors again and there is a town nearby. One of the other things we discovered: we are a little too much of a city slick. We seem to need access, to buongiorno, come stai? and to unplanned appetizers.

Because that's one of the things we enjoy here so much. Italians are not planners, they don't live with their agendas and things happen a lot more spontaneously here. They appear to be at least as good at complaining as the Dutch, although it is slightly less often about the weather.

Do what you like (that's what you're best at)

We have landed a bit again, after the past hectic years. We are doing some odd jobs, inside and especially in the garden. In addition, we are both busy picking up our passions again and getting some income from it.

Maarten supports writers who stay with us and he is writing his second novel himself. The first appeared just after the first lockdown and is aptly named Virus. He is busy blogging about life in Italy and about writing.

Dominique is also working on a book and is reshaping her coaching practice. The most important thing is that we get back to doing what we really enjoy and what makes us happy. As long as you do those 2 things, everything will be OK, everything will be fine.

3 tips from Maarten and Dominique to make your emigration to Italy a success

A lot of people dream of emigration, but there are always reasons not to do it now. Take the plunge and just go. You can always go back, but only if you went first. We do have a few tips for when you're already tying your shoelaces:

• Rent! If possible, first rent a house in the area where you want to live. This way you can arrange a lot of things much easier and you can search for your final home much more calmly.
• See your house in winter (and if possible in all seasons) and ask yourself if you want to live here. Of course nature and tranquility are beautiful and half an hour to the nearest village doesn't seem that far. But if you have to go to the doctor or the roads are less passable, it sometimes turns out to be different. Think carefully about what you want, also in your future.
• There are more options to provide for your maintenance. Don't be blind. We too were a bit stuck in the 'I'm leaving bubble', but you don't have to start a B&B. Of course you can very well work from home these days if you have a bit of internet and there are so many other things you can do here. Do what you like. That way you can always earn a living and you have a lot more fun with it.

Maarten and Dominique's new company is De Schrijverstoren. A place for writers by writers. Here you have the opportunity to fully concentrate on your manuscript undisturbed.

The Writers' Tower is also the place where you can get help with your writing. Whether you want support in setting up your manuscript, or (written) feedback on what you've written, or want to break through your writer's block, it's possible here.

De Schrijverstoren is not a B&B. It is a home of and for writers with a love and passion for language, books, creation and especially writing. For more information, go to: dewriterstoren.nl.