This Is Italy
The advice below pertains to when you first greet someone if you haven't seen each other for a long time. For example: the Italian host of your Airbnb from last year. The owner of the restaurant where you have been coming for years. Your new in-laws in Italy that you haven't seen before. Should you kiss an Italian? And if so, how should that be done?
kiss culture
Friendly kisses can cause a lot of confusion. When do you go for a kiss, how many do you do, left cheek, right cheek, both, twice, three times, with or without lips? Aaaaaah! It is logical that many Italians suffer from kissing stress.
Italians are known for handing out friendly kisses. For example during the first italian christmas to which you have been invited. But on the other hand, you can also get into the awkward situation where you want to go for a kiss and make the other person long and instead good morning of experience say. Different regions in Italy have different kissing culture. Yes, that too.
The basic rule of course remains: when in doubt, don't kiss!
Considerations of whether or not to kiss
Considerations to make before offering your cheek:
- How well do you know the person in front of you?
- Is it a social occasion or a business occasion?
- And what are your own considerations for kissing or not?
Keep in mind that a lot of this depends on the kisser's personality. Most Italians are warm and outspoken. They enjoy kissing (close) friends and family, but for acquaintances, in business environments and with strangers, a handshake is usually the first choice.
Don't kiss on a first acquaintance
In general, don't kiss if you've never met someone. And be a consistent kisser. If you greet someone with a kiss, say goodbye with a kiss. If you then only offer a hand, the confusion only increases.
Do you feel like you're in a 'kiss relationship'? Then start on the right side and rub the other person's cheek with your own. Avoid kissing sounds in the other person's ear. No, no comfort! Switch smoothly to the left cheek and repeat the gesture.
We don't want to make this more difficult than it is, but in some parts of Italy you hit the left cheek first and then the right cheek. When in doubt, take a break and leave your Italian friend in charge.
No third kiss
Stop after two kisses. A third kiss is – unlike in the Netherlands and Belgium – not common in Italy. And don't really kiss your lips on the cheek either, unless it's a close friendship or a family member.
The kissing routine mainly takes place between women and women and men and women. But there are regions (mainly in the south) where it is also common for men to greet each other with a kiss on the cheek. The safest route as a (foreign) man in Italy is to leave it at a friendly handshake.
Ironically, the trickiest situation is where a foreigner meets another foreigner in Italy. If that person is a friend, or a friend of a friend, do you stick to the Italian custom or fall back on the etiquette of the home country?
Have you had any uncomfortable kissing experiences in Italy? Leave a comment below!
Source: dreamofitaly.com
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