Column: coffee at the neighbors

Everyone who has ever been here knows that drinking coffee outdoors in company in Italy is different than in the Netherlands. You run into the bar together, order some coffee, talk until the cup is put on the saucer in front of you, sugar, stir, drink in one gulp, a few more little words and you're gone again. But are the differences between the Netherlands and Italy also so great when you come to a coffee visit?

The Dutch coffee drinking ritual in company is in any case very different. You sit quietly at a table, wave to the servant while talking, order a cup of coffee and chat happily until the cups are brought. Everyone is busy with sugar and milk for a while and then you resume the conversation.

And often the first headline is followed by a second and sometimes even a third. Only when you have caught up or when time is running out do you wave to the servant again. You wait until the bill is charged and after half an hour, an hour or more you leave the coffee shop.

Coffee in Italy and the Netherlands

So it seems like a good topic for a column. The cultural differences between 'coffee at home with friends' in Italy and the Netherlands. Differences abound, that is almost inevitable if you already look at the differences outside the door. About how you deal with expected and unexpected visitors, what you offer them and of course whether the coffee drinking ritual is the same as in the bar. And then with stories about my experiences as a visitor. It cannot be otherwise than that it will be a nice piece. Alright, let's make a plan.

Announced visits

Let's start with the classic: in Italy you will not draw your agenda as quickly as in the Netherlands to set the day and time for a cozy coffee appointment. On the other hand, completely unannounced I don't drop in on everyone here either. Especially if someone lives a little further away or has a busy life, I call in advance to check whether the person in question is at home and whether it is convenient.

Or when I visit someone who doesn't really qualify as a 'good friend' and would feel a bit uncomfortable if you're standing on the sidewalk while the pillows aren't straight on the couch. Not quite the same as making an appointment long in advance, but also not completely spontaneous and unannounced.

Unexpected raids

Bigger differences with the unannounced visits than. With a nice story about how in the morning after the first taxi rides of the day at a quarter past eight I step into a neighbor's house for a cup of coffee and at the same time hear the latest village news. After all, you don't often do that in the Netherlands: I can already see the startled sleeping face of my neighbor in a dressing gown and rabbit slippers.

But if I think about it longer, I wouldn't have done that early in the morning in the other Italian towns I've lived. Or at the other neighbors here in the street. They would see me coming, say! And all things considered, my experience is that spontaneous raids at a somewhat 'more normal' time with neighbors, friends or family are not really different between the two countries. You often do that with people with whom you have a certain bond. No, not a good example for nice differences.

The coffee visit itself

Then let's take a different tack: the reactions and the ways in which people in Italy or in the Netherlands deal with visitors. That's probably a nice angle to highlight the differences. In the Netherlands you are often offered coffee when you enter. Or something else, depending on the time. With the famous biscuit of course. Or something else.

In Italy, actually, if I think about it. An caffé on a saucer. Often with chocolates, especially for the visitor that comes by. In the Netherlands you often also get a second cup, in Italy not so easily. That's not an inhospitable gesture, that's not offering a second cup. But rather to prevent the guest's heart from making strange jumps. But to hang all the differences on that, no, that's too meager.

Duration of your coffee visit

The last factor I might be able to deal with: the duration of the visit. Perhaps you will generally stay longer in the Netherlands than you would in Italy during a visit. But there are also many exceptions to this.

After all, the number of times we've gone here with friends for a 'quick coffee' and ended up getting pizzas and then at 11 p.m. gathering the kids hiding under the beds to go to to go home. And vice versa, in the Netherlands I quickly ran into a lot of people for a cup of coffee and then immediately left.

A column of nothing

That's nice. It turns out that the 'indoor' coffee rituals in Italy and the Netherlands do not differ as much from each other as those of drinking coffee outside. Far too many exceptions to the rule. And because of those exceptions, 'drinking coffee together at home' in both countries is starting to look suspiciously similar. It won't work with that nice coffee column. I'll just look for another topic.