Column: the airport

During a summer vacation in Tuscany I lost my heart to an Italian. During a night out, Stefano caught my eye. Back in the Netherlands I knew it was more than just a 'holiday flow'. One thing led to another and we decided to visit each other every 2 months. Visits that are invariably linked to the airport, for both the outward and return journey. An airport didn't seem like a place to make you sad at all. 

Once you're together, you always think in the back of your mind about the farewell that comes closer by the day. Every minute counts and you would prefer to stop the time. Never seeing each other again is not an option. We are both strong enough to continue our relationship that has lasted a year and a half, albeit 1.382 kilometers apart. Me as a student in Amsterdam, he as a student in Florence.

The tragedy of airports

Airports can be so much fun, but also so sad. The pain you feel when you let someone you love go. Leaving your loved one feels like extra baggage. I compare this to the first time I dropped him off at the airport. Stefano at the time was a stranger whom I didn't know well, but who I really wanted to get to know. I knew one thing and that was that he would return to Amsterdam soon enough.

Now that we are a year and a half later, it is getting heavier and heavier. I don't want to say goodbye anymore. I want to be able to take the bike and arrive at his house a few minutes later. The bicycle is not even necessary. Even if he lived in Groningen, I would like to spend a few hours on the train. Please even.

An airport used to not seem like a place to make you sad. It starts with the long trip to the airport (I'm talking about the return trip, of course). My feelings, his feelings. Emotions bubbling up inside you. You don't want to express them, but you can't hide them either. You chose it yourself, didn't you? You knew this in advance, didn't you?

Say goodbye as soon as possible

I always want the moment of goodbye as soon as possible, that's easier. A kiss, a few kind words, but above all: don't look back. I walk to the gate and wait until I can board. All the while with that extra baggage. Yet I have learned to accept it and I can deal with it. Fortunately, as soon as we are both busy with friends, family, school and work, time passes fairly quickly and we try to give the lack a place.

It is what it is. I don't want to complain, some other couples don't see each other for months. We should also be happy with modern means of communication such as Skype and WhatsApp. Although unfortunately there is always a screen in between, which often causes frustration if you have a strong need to hug each other. Looking to the future together is the only remedy.

Cultural differences

It is not easy for a student to travel to Italy once in a while, but I am certainly willing to do it. From time to time we have cultural differences.

To give an example: in Italy young people and young adults are used to being supported financially by their parents for a long time. Everything is sponsored by his parents.

In the Netherlands it is very common to work hard in addition to your studies to pay for clothing and trips. My friend couldn't imagine this at first. It seems to me that Italian children are being spoiled and remain dependent for a long time. Differences like these sometimes cause misunderstanding, but you can't blame each other.

It's been worth it

When you travel to a loved one or when you go on vacation after a long period of work, airports can be a lot of fun. Everything seems perfect: the expensive coffee at the airport, the seat on the plane, the stress about the exact amount of liquid items, and so on.

When the plane lands you want to see it as soon as possible. The pain, the long wait, and the sense of despair collapses like a melting ice cube. The moment you realize that everything has been worth it.

End of the extra baggage

The extra baggage is getting a little less and less. Stefano will graduate in a month. He says goodbye to Italy, packs his bags and goes on a job search in the Netherlands with a diploma. The countdown can start.

Maybe the airport will be the place I once envisioned.