Reinout Bosman
I am back on Dutch soil for a while. Seven months after the last time. I look a bit pityingly out the window of the plane. 'Has the Netherlands always been this flat?' I wonder softly. Sitting next to me is an Italian who is completely devoted to the Netherlands and would love to live there. 'The Netherlands has everything that Italy does not have,' he says with a lump in his throat.
I look from him to the flat patchwork quilt and then look at him questioningly again. When the Vueling plane hits the ground in Amsterdam and I see 'Welcome to the Netherlands', I get goosebumps. A weird sensation to be here again.
Now you must be thinking 'oh, seven months, what are you worrying about?' You're right, but still… It just feels different. Perhaps because I live in a completely different world in Italy. Those of opera, performances, speaking in front of groups and because of that I feel much more like an artist. In the Netherlands I feel different…
A few examples
In Italy I can stand on a square and suddenly the Libiamo nei Lieti Calicia go sing or have a nice Dicitencello Vuee. When I sing in the Netherlands, the radio is turned up louder, so that it suddenly seems as if you are battling against René Froger.
In Italy I always eat pasta for lunch. For a good, firm base to be able to continue working until about seven in the evening. Lunch in the Netherlands is often bread or a snotty bouncer with cheese or a 'quick salad'. There is less time for quality and good food.
In Italy I go out with friends and in the late evening I sit on a square with a gin and tonic or a beer, in the Netherlands you shake your head uncomfortably to the pub beat and you drink a lot. And if I ever find myself in such a bar in Italy, there is at least good and long dancing.
In Italy it's nice to look good. You dress nicely, you look sleek and you really do your best. I was eating very good Neapolitan pizza in Utrecht with a friend of mine and what I saw then… well, never mind… you probably understand the meaning: in the Netherlands, clothing often and above all has a function*.
*You understand that I am generalizing a bit to make the concept clear.
Too Italian for a Dutchman
During my stay I went for dinner with a group of friends. And I've known him almost all my life. If I have to believe them, living in Italy will also make me behave differently. "You talk more with your hands, Rein, and you sometimes make funny sentences," my oldest and best friend says. 'Oh yes', he adds: 'you are always cold, even if we are half dead from the heat,' he laughs and takes a sip of his wine.
'Your meal times are super late and if you always eat with liters of olive oil', a friend shouts from the kitchen, 'plus you dress like you have to walk a fashion show every day'. I start to laugh. "Well guys, he can do it again." 'We think so too, Mister Cavalli,' they shout in unison.
Too Dutch for an Italian
The discussion will continue, because if I'm too Italian to be Dutch, am I too Dutch to be Italian? The answer is absolutely 'yes'. I dare to say that wholeheartedly.
I am far too direct to be Italian, often can't understand the subtle indirect messages and I regularly encounter that I am too impatient. 'Yes, how long do you have to do this? Surely we can decide this right now?' And so on…
As much as I love food, I still don't always mix the ice cream flavors well, sometimes cook the pasta too short or too long and still can't make the perfect tomato sauce. Baccalà alla Livornese is baccalà but in Livorno they would do it slightly differently, the olives are not of the right brand and I still have a few things to learn when it comes to pasta thicknesses.
Englishman in New York
Yes, and then you are in between two cultures. And that is quite a nice position I must admit, because you see the world a bit grayer between all the black and white. You can also choose much more.
Sometimes it's wonderful to take the 'other' position for a while. That you will be very Dutch in Italy or very Italian in the Netherlands. To open the eyes of your local friends and acquaintances in this way, and show them that certain things can be done differently. often more easy or just a bit more precise.
Create a Englishman in New York? Yes, I think I understand Sting's feeling. And that you should above all remain yourself in that violence, because that is exactly when we can learn from each other. And that sometimes leads to surprising results.
Italian friends who go big planning or my wonderful mother who suddenly eats pasta for lunch. Oh yes, it can go wrong.
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